Last December, I caught up on some reading and while refelcting upon it I penned some of thoughts permeating in my mind into my personal journal. During my recent family camping break at Tannum Sands I reviewed my journal and came across some thoughts which are pertinent now more than ever. The concepts I mention are not purely my individual thoughts but have been collated from a number of clippings and various articles, words and phrases.
Except for disease and climatic disasters, I believe that over 90% of the world’s problems result from people not keeping their agreements. Think about it. From countries to corporations to families to friends, almost every upset - little or large - can be traced back to someone not keeping up their end of the bargain.
Wars break out, companies fail, marriages end, friendships fracture and deals fall through simply because of broken agreements.
We all make agreements every day. Some seem small and insignificant: an agreed to meet time, a promise to run an errand, an undertaking to be home in time to throw the ball with the boys. Others are seen as bigger and more important: a formal contract, signing a loan document. But, all of them are important, because this is the way trust is earnt. A person’s reputation is built upon their ability to make and keep agreements.
Your life - and the lives of those around you - will work better when agreements are carefully made and diligently kept. I believe the quality of your life is in direct relation to your agreements.
Here are seven tips to help you become and remain a person who can be counted upon:
- Take all agreements seriously. When you agree to do something - do it. And do it when you said you would in the way you agreed to do it. When you agree to meet someone, be sure to be there and be there on time. Agreements with yourself matter, too. If you promise youself to stop and smell the roses, keep your promise. Develop the HABIT of keeping your agreements.
- Be careful of what you agree to do. Don’t give your word lightly. Many people find it is easier to say Yes than No. But it’s far better to be a bit guarded with what we agree to do because we can find ourselves over committed and then unable to complete what we said we would.
- Keep track of your agreements. In the course of a week we might enter into dozens of agreements. We must have a way to keep track of these promises - a follow up system to keep yourself and those you deal with on top of what was promised. You may have great intentions, but if you forget what you agreed to do, the result is the same as you CHOOSING not to keep your agreement.
- Make sure your agreements are clear. With a written agreement you have a prayer, with a verbal agreement you have nothing but air. It’s always bette to have a written agreement, even if it’s just a letter or note of understanding. It’s much easier to iron out any confusion later on if it was written down and no one has to rely on the memory of a conversation.
- Be careful with whom you make agreements. There’s an old adage, “Cheat me once, shame on you; cheat me twice, shame on me”. If you make agreements with people who have a history of not keeping them, you’re leaving yourself wide open for disappointment.
- Renegotiate when you are unable to keep your agreement. When you find yourself unwilling or unable to complete an agreement, always go to the other party or parties and renegotiate. It may be uncomfortable but it will reinforce your integrity and has far more class than simply not addressing the issue.
- Manage by agreement. Instead of simply telling someone to do something, ask them if they would agree to such and such by such and such a time. Using my boys as a litmus test: if I tell them to do something just because I told them so, it may well not get done (and I in turn become more frustrated and the cylce of frustration continues); if I ask them for their help and get their agreement, I’ve a much better chance of getting it done.
By paying careful attention to the agreements we make, tracking them and developing the habit of keeping all our agreements, we become and remain a person of integrity.
Our lives and the world around us, work in direct proportion to the quality of our agreements.
Where to from here?
